How Long to Breastfeed?

Further to the weaning issue. I just googled to find out what's the recommendation period to breastfeed a child. The first one is the Islamic way, based on the Book, whereas the second one I found was the WHO and UNICEF recommendation. Both give the same answer that mothers are recommended to continue breastfeeding the child for up to two years until two and half years of age.

I would like to share what has been written in the Quran regarding breastfeeding. Below is extracted from The Quranic Teachings and WHO websites. I hope they're useful for you because they really are for me. They gave me some kind of strength to continue nursing little Sheraz. It's been written there and science has proven it. I'm sure there must be a lot of benefits out of it.
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The Quran has not ordained as to how long mothers must suckle the child. The individual circumstances would be the deciding factor in this respect. However, the Quran has said that it takes two and a half years for a mother to bear the burden of the foetus in her womb followed by the suckling of the child.


And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing (the burden) of him and the weaning of him was thirty months; ...[46:15]

At another place the suckling period is described as two years.

And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents-- his mother bears him with weakness (and hardships) upon weakness (and hardship) and his weaning takes two years-- saying: Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming.[31:14]

And the mothers should suckle their children for two whole years for him who desires to make complete the time of suckling; and their maintenance and their clothing must be-- borne by the father according to usage; no soul shall have imposed upon it a duty but to the extent of its capacity; neither shall a mother be made to suffer harm on account of her child, nor a father on account of his child, and a similar duty (devolves) on the (father's) heir, but if both desire weaning by mutual consent and counsel, there is no blame on them, and if you wish to engage a wet-nurse for your children, there is no blame on you so long as you pay what you promised for according to usage; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah and know that Allah sees what you do.[2:233].

Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. A recent review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.

Breastmilk is the natural first food for babies, it provides all the energy and nutrients that the infant needs for the first months of life, and it continues to provide up to half or more of a child’s nutritional needs during the second half of the first year, and up to one-third during the second year of life.

We found what he wants! Now what?

After some 'experiments' of offering him a few brands of formula, finally we got the finding! The result was: this soy based milk.



This milk was the second last we had wanted to try because Sheraz is prone to allergies and we're afraid soy would trigger his eczema. But we lost hope on cow's milk since none suited him. When his paediatrician offered us those sample bottles, we were a bit confident that this should be okay for him. By the way, we always had had goat's milk in mind for the next trial in case he rejected this.

Regardless how much solid he's taking, his milk consumption per day is a lot and my EBM supply can't cope with his demand. I always found myself in stressful circumstance when I have to make sure to express enough for the next day. I've been eating oats, milk, taking fenugreek and pumping while he's nursing at night. That's what I've been doing to boost my supply. I know this would be a lame excuse but I'm tired.

When DH knew about this he quickly joked "yay now we can send him to his grandmother and .. let's go for a movie". DH and I were movie freak. Not freak really, but we appreciate the anti-piracy laws by watching the latest movies at the cinema, not at home with pirated CDs. Besides, we love sound system effects. I've been restricted myself not to go out without Sheraz so often especially during weekend because simply I don't want to waste my EBM. When Sheraz is with me, he can nurse, not bottle-fed. Those EBM bottles are always needed on workdays and they've never been enough at least for the past 3 months. Even if there are always some who offer to take care of him during weekend, I refuse. I don't want my son to starve on other days because he don't have enough milk. At the same time, forcing my body to produce more like a milk factory which I do not want. That's when the idea to get formula came across. So far he had rejected all except this new one.

So now what?

I thought once I got what he accepted I'd be dancing like crazy. Guess what, I didn't. I felt sad instead. I don't want to wean my baby. I don't want this bonding journey to end here. He still got his right to have the best food ever. And it's still available, and I don't want to kill it.

So I made this decision. I will continue to breastfeed him for as long as my body allows. I will treat the formula as my anti-stress alternative. If there's no enough supply I'll use the formula. I can have a little peace of mind for not worrying whether the little fellow would starve or not. I don't have the need to express when I can't. I can skip expressing without feeling restless when a whole-day meeting puts off my pumping time. In case of emergency, he'll get the alternative. As for me, I'll continue expressing, and feeding him, hopefully until he meets his second birthday.

Skinny Baby?

"Kenapa dia jadi kurus?" That's what most people say when they see Sheraz. The little one was once chubby and he was a big baby compared to the babies his age. As he grows older now he looks lean, not chubby like most babies are. For me, that doesn't bother me at all. The most important thing is that he looks perfectly fine, he is really active, happy, making diapers, and meeting milestones. By the way, he has no food intake issue. In fact, he loves to eat, in a big quantity as well. So since at this point food is only like a supplement where milk is still the main food, I blame his weight on the milk. Not 'blame' to be exact, just to have a simple evaluation on the milk part.

People are a bit skeptical on the amount he gets compared to other formula fed babies. Well, most babies at his age take supplement like 6-8 oz per feeding. But Sheraz just got 3-4 oz of EBM per bottle during the day. In the evening I only nurse him. The thing is most of us do not aware that we do not need to increase milk intake of a breastfed baby because the composition of the breast milk changes as the baby gets older and the amount needed does not change.

About whether he gets enough amount to fill in his tummy, I just simply see the baby himself as the barometer. As long as he looks satisfied and contented, he should be fine. Anyway, during the day he has milk every 2 hours almost consistently, instead of every 4 to 6 hours.

The second thing which I'd like to highlight is he is mobile. Sheraz is an active little boy. It's hardly to see him stay still or sit properly unless if he's asleep. When he moves a lot, I'm sure he's burning calories like crazy. That contributes to his body shape. As our babies get more mobile they will start to look a little leaner and the rate of growth slows a bit as they get older too!

Lastly, people are all sizes, and so are babies. His parents are lean. So what do you expect? That should also explain, right?

I wish I can talk as easy as I write. sigh. You see, at least I'm trying to breakdown possibilities as I don't want to let other people worry me for nothing.

*cheers*

BM vs Formula

Sheraz refuses formula. He doesn't want to take it at all. That worries us, the reason being, we anticipate the worst scenario like what would happen if I am to be away and there's not enough stock of BM?

If you can recall, the decision to buy formula came about one and a half month ago when my pump broke down that I wasn't able to provide him enough milk. Sheraz took the supplement until I got my pump fixed. That time at the nursery he took a bottle of formula everyday for two weeks.

Since then I've been experiencing low milk supply. Yes, even when I had my double pump back. It seems that my body already got used to how I had expressed the milk for those two weeks that even when I started to use the double pump, the supply seemed to be very slow to catch up.

After the so called catastrophe, I had to send extra at least two bottles of milk to the nursery during lunch hour because I wasn't able to express enough milk the day before. I'm so grateful for having the right decision to choose nearby nursery closer to the office, it gives me flexibility and convenience to visit Sheraz any time. The nursery still kept the formula even though I still provided him BM. We treated it as a back up food. Sometimes in the morning I gave Sheraz only two bottles of milk. So I had to pump at work and sent it to him. I didn't have to worry to put dates on the bottles. Because what I pumped was what to consume straightaway on the same day.

One day, I had a long meeting and a site visit that I didn't have the chance to pump. I didn't worry because Sheraz had the back up milk. I thought that he can have it any time. When DH picked the little guy up from the nursery, he called me to go home as soon as I could because Sheraz had been crying for he didn't get enough milk. To my surprise, he chose to starve rather than taking the formula. That happened two times, if I'm not mistaken. Now I've been pumping and supplying and making sure I produce enough or else the little one would get starved. Imagine how stressful I am being in this position. But seriously, I don't take it so hard, because the more stress I am the less milk I get.

On top of that, there are people who scolded me for not introducing formula earlier. They make me feel so awful for being such a negligent mother. But who would want to kill her own supply by introducing formula to the baby when she bloody indeed has the will to breastfeed the baby? That's the reason why formula wasn't introduced earlier. Is it such a sin to have the desire of feeding her baby with her own milk?

Anyway, things have passed. Nothing is neither right nor wrong. Sheraz's decision to prefer BM is nobody's fault (in other word, NOT my fault). After all, I'm the one who's taking the responsibility. May Allah help us in any way, that's it.




p.s. I've been eating oat twice a day. Milk supply has increased, alhamdulillah. I hope I can start building up stock of milk again so that I don't need to worry whether today's production will be enough for tomorrow or not. I believe the nursery noticed how the supply is slightly increasing because I didn't send extra milk during lunch hour for the last two days . Today I saw Sheraz's back-up food in his bag. They returned the formula. I hope I have the faith in myself to be able to produce enough food for the baby just like the nursery do. They have the faith in me for no more needing the formula as back up. Anyway, I still need to let Sheraz have formula, from time to time. We anticipate the worst scenario. But for the time being, I just don't know by what approach since Sheraz really enjoys what he has now.

A Catastrophe

.. and I'm sad.

further to my broken Medela pump.

It's been MORE than a week since we sent it to the shop. The last two weekends I did a mistake by using the pump when the hose was not totally dry. So it happened that water was unexpectedly sucked into the motor. If I knew this would happen, I would have never cleaned it in the first place! Because no matter how long you've waited for it to dry, there's still a bit water in it. There's no way you can wipe it out.

It's still under warranty and they have sent it to KL! (This is one of the problems when you don't stay at the capital!). I don't have any idea why it's taking them so long to get it repaired. I suppose, delivering it would only take a day. I wish there's some kind like a temporary replacement pump for me. But there is not. Of course buying a new one is a no no. I never imagined that my "life" seems to be dependable on the object that is called PUMP.

When the previous hard time happened, DH bought me a double electric pump because the Avent single manual I had bought didn't work for me. So when my beloved pump broke down, I'm back to the manual one - and once again, it's single. Normally at work I could produce 9 to 12 oz by the end of the day. It's 5 oz in the morning plus another 4 oz in the afternoon. And sometimes I could even get 6 oz per session (morning and afternoon). On the other hand, the back-up pump I'm currently using WAS great. I can express according to my own pace. The first three days were amazing. I could get a surprisingly satisfying amount. But it decreased the following days. Now by the end of the day, I can only get 6 Oz. At night I only can get around 2 or 3 oz. The total up is not enough for Sheraz's consumption the next day. My problem is it's so hard to experience let down. I know the milk is there but I just can't drain it out. I even do a bit massaging, it helps but the result is nothing compared to the let down reflex.

I can't let Sheraz to starve. So the decision to buy formula came. I have never been so sad to buy something before. I know giving your baby formula milk is not a sin. And neither it will make you such a bad mother. But the feel of not giving something you're actually able to breaks my heart. Sheraz takes 5 bottles during day time. I'm only able to give him 4 bottles. The remaining demand will be covered by formula.

I simply don't have idea about the lacking of the let down reflex. Since this never happened before I'm putting the blame for the decreasing out put on the absence of Medela. Well, everyone reacts differently on pumps. My sister-in-law uses the same single pump and she doesn't have any difficulty using it. As for me, I just hope I will get my Medela back.

But honestly whatever it is, I'm so GRATEFUL to have the Avent as my back up. The result may not be as satisfying as the Medela's, but I still have the chance to express something for the baby.


The first three days of using the manual pump were great. I expressed according to my own pace and the result was a wow. Total was 10.5 oz in a 15 minute session. When we pump one side the other side also leaks. The one in the cup was the retained milk from the other side which I didn't want to waste. It's worth 1.5 oz!

Oh no!

I'm experiencing one of the worst things I wished never happened.

I'm so panic because my pump is broken!

It's still under warranty. They said it may take some time like A WEEK to get it fixed. Well my baby takes milk everyday - NOT once a week. *sigh*. I hope this is not the end of the breastfeeding journey.

Unwanted Milk Reduction

Sheraz is 6 months and 5 days old

Previously Sheraz's average daily milk consumption was 4 cups of 3.5 to 5 oz of milk. Those are to exclude night time feedings. Since he started solids, it seems that Sheraz himself has eliminated one milk portion per day. Because by the end of the day, I only get 3 empty cups out of 4 which I send to the nursery in the morning. And surprisingly I even sometimes bring home TWO empty cups ONLY, which makes me think he only takes two bottles in more than 9 hours(?)(!)

He's doing okay. It's just that I'm worried, as I believe milk is supposed to be his MAIN FOOD but somehow he only takes a little of it. BM is most important, solids are just for practice and exposure to tastes/textures. He won't be taking enough solids for proper nutrition until somewhere around a year. Now I wonder whether he gets enough of what his body needs. Younger Sheraz could get more of it why can't he now? Does he have a real heavy lunch? But he tends to refuse food when I feed him during weekend.

Nevertheless, in the evening everything is normal and almost identical for the past few months. He'd normally have 3 nursing sessions before going to bed and wake up once or twice at night to nurse.

Below pictures are the feeding necessities which I wash and sterilize every day. They are not as 'wondrous' as those of the previous days where I got more bottles and cups to handle.

My Weight

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I once posted about my Postpartum Changes. So the last time I checked my weight was two months ago. Recently I did check it again and owh I was so surprised! The scale read 43 kilograms which means I have lost 7 kilograms = 15.4 lbs from my pre-pregnancy figure. My BMI says I'm underweight.

Almost everyone tries to lose weight after giving birth. But as for me, I lose weight easily to the extent that I don't want it to keep going as I'm afraid I'd look like an anorexic. Is it a Yay or Nay? I credit my weight loss to breastfeeding because sometimes I eat like a construction worker, am constantly hungry, not under pressure and not dieting. And for sure I haven't been working out at ALL so that's the only reason I can think of for the weight loss: Breastfeeding.

I figure, as long as I'm eating well and getting all of the nutrients I need, and am feeling good THEN I should be fine. BUT I have to get myself EAT more. For the time being I want to enjoy the result regardless how a little frightened I am now.

Overabundant Supply

Normally I would express milk in between Sheraz's last feeding which is before he sleeps for the night and his earliest feeding in the morning. So it would be around 3 or 4 a.m. But today I was so sleepy so I didn't wake up to pump. I knew I was having overabundant milk supply when Sheraz choked and sputtered during the morning feeding, so he didn't want to drink a lot. As there wasn't enough time to express, I went to the office with full load of milk. I could feel let-down reflex a few times. Thanks to the pads! No more embarrassing patches on the tops (yes there was one time when I forgot to wear those, luckily I had my headscarf to cover!).

Had to skip the 10 a.m session as I went for a site visit the whole morning only to be back to the office during lunch hour. So 'they' were really heavy! Once I was at the office I pumped straightaway and was surprised to find what I got!

Milk Tragedy

Today I forgot to bring along my hand phone. (Though it's not that I didn't use to). Sometimes I leave it on the dining table and most of the time under my pillow. Okay, that's not the point.

So when I reached home in the evening I found a few missed calls, and some text messages. One from DH, mak Yah, a contractor and one from Sheraz's caregiver. The last one frightened me a lot. Since the first day I returned to work, I've been a bit alert of any phone calls, because I'm afraid there might be any emergency call or whatsoever. Since it was only a text message so I thought there shouldn't be anything important. After all Sheraz was already with us.

When I read, I felt sad and hapless. Why? Because they texted that two bottles of Sheraz's milk (my expressed milk) have gone bad. They had thrown them away and wanted me to send over more. I remembered that this morning I gave five bottles of refrigerated milk, two of which contained frozen milk that had been thawed in the fridge. That was frozen milk and there's no way it can be spoiled! And once again I read the part: susu dah dibuang. Suddenly I felt so wretched. Do you know every drop of the milk is so precious? When I was experiencing breastfeeding hard time, I struggled even to get a single drop. When I checked Sheraz's bag I recalled that one bottle of the frozen milk contained 5.5 oz! and the other one was 4. So all together they have wasted 9.5 oz! All of a sudden I burst into tears because I knew the milk shouldn't been spoiled and that Sheraz could have been happier to get those. They could have mistakenly thought that it has spoiled because of the milk separation. Normally it may look spoiled but it's just separation where fat rises to the top.

Well, it was nobody's fault. They are not to blame. Seriously.

I thought they would have known more about handling human milk since there is one of the older babies at the nursery who also consumes only breast milk. (Or probably the mother never gave frozen one.) I should have briefed them though. It was just heartbreaking to have to think about them getting rid of that liquid gold! and I shouldn't have left the hand phone at home in the first place (eventhough by the time they texted me the milk had been discarded). It's all right, not our rezeki. The most important thing is that Sheraz had enough food today. It happened that they still got more of Sheraz's milk - even if I didn't come over to send extra.

Sheraz's lunch bag. Normally I prepare 5 cups / bottles every day.

Weekend

These are a few of all reasons why I always look forward for weekend:-

(1) I can do all the undone household chores

(2) I can stock more expressed milk

(3) I can bathe and dress him myself

(4) I can play with him for hours

(5) I can cuddle and watch him sleep

Pumping Mom

So here's a story of a pumping mom..

The ibu perah pumping mom knows breast milk has all the nutrients a baby needs. Since she was 5 months pregnant she's been experiencing colostrum leakage. She's been always desiring to breastfeed the baby exclusively once the little one arrives. Four months later she gave birth to a wonderful tough baby. She was so grateful to be able to nurse her baby an hour after delivery. Though at first breastfeeding became hard, both she and the baby soon found it enjoyable and much convenient.

Now it's the time for her to be back working after two full exciting months together with the little one. She has to find a way so the baby can still have the benefits of breast milk while she's at work. The only thing to do is to supply enough milk by pumping regularly, and this also includes pumping at work. So far it works and here's how she does it.

..From the one day rehearsal she did before getting back to work, basically she needs to supply for 5 feedings everyday. So pumping can be done 4 to 5 times a day. The first one is in the morning around 10 am. Where in the office she got space to do the business? Luckily the surau is available. Since there's a fixed glass along the side wall at 1.6m high above the floor, she has to sit very closely to the wall to avoid somebody from being able to watch. The amount of milk she'd get at this time is around 8.5 to 9.5 oz. So this session is enough to stock for 2 feedings. The second session is around 2 pm which most of the time she gets around 4 to 5 oz which is more than enough for a feeding. The third session would be at night after the little one sleeps for the night. If she's lucky she'd get around 4 oz. Around 3 am another session would be enough to supply for one feeding.

..So the same thing goes everyday. But when a meeting is held during the first half of a day, pumping session becomes untidy. Only around 3 pm she'd pump and she'd get more than 11 oz but to bear with the engorged breasts are really not fun. But that's even better because there was one day she had to be at the site the whole day so she had to deal with the painful engorgement and to catch up supplying for the next day once she got home.

For her, weekend is a good time to stock supply though the amount she gets wouldn't be as much as when she is away from the baby. So far people at the office don't have idea what she does every 10 am at the surau with this black big handbag. One of the colleagues said "awalnya zohor?" But she just smiled. Let them find out rather than informing them. Or else people would be talking or teasing about it. So since it's written here, this is an open secret. After all people should understand a pumping mom doesn't do more than a favour to feed her baby. So that's a story about her, ummu Sheraz.

Faces of the Nurser

Since the baby was born I feel like he's attached on me most of the time. Nursing is a new round-the-clock- job for me. I am enjoying it even though it's pretty exhausting. These are the moments that only I can share with the baby. Chances are that once he's weaned, I'll be looking back and missing these many hours of nursing. So I've been recording them in pictures.

Before: Getting impatient

During: Enjoying

After: Feeling content and falling a sleep in my arm

... and sometimes smiling showing that he's happy

Breastfeeding Hard Time

About half an hour after Sheraz was born, the nurse brought me the baby for the first feeding session. She made the baby latch on and he quickly didn't have any problem finding his milk. Sheraz sucked vigorously that the nurse was surprised. It was cute, a bit weird for me though but it's an experience I will never forget.

I thought I wouldn't have any problem to breastfeed until few days later both my assets cracked badly that they bled. Soon I knew it's because of poor latch. It was a sorrow to see the baby's crying and I wasn't able to feed him because I couldn't stand the pain. Still tried to feed but I had to cry, bearing with the soreness and the burning sensation.

The first hari raya Sheraz was 5 days old. I had to stay at home while everyone was enjoying his/her time. We were supposed to visit DH's parents and relatives. Since I was having difficulties, I let my parents and my sister go to spend their raya at DH's place. So there were the three of us staying at home, dad-mom and the hungry baby. The same situation happened. The baby (and also his mom) cried. One thing I kept in mind is that I don't want to give up breastfeeding, so I didn't give Sheraz formula that time. I tried to express my milk so that at least I could bottle feed him instead of feed him directly. I have Avent manual breast pump, unfortunately it just didn't work. Manual pump works for a lot of people, but not for me at that time. When the baby's angry and when I was panic, the milk just didn't come in. Poor DH had to go the store, looking for other pump. One experienced friend once told me that when you express milk on one breast, the other also leaks, so it could be a waste. So, when DH went to the store, he knew what to look for. He got me Medela double electric breast pump. Medela's double pump is the one we can afford compared to Avent's double pump which is double the price. When pumping, the milk came in fast. Since it pumped both sides at the same time, I could collect faster. Alhamdulillah the baby got what he needed. When he fell asleep, I did another 'production'. I have to do this mostly when he sleeps so that whenever he's hungry there's always stock available.

(I use Avent for feeding and Medela for pumping)

I bottle fed Sheraz for at least 2-3 days until the crack nearly healed. I tried to correct my position when latching, it was so much less painful. Alhamdulillah now I'm nursing him directly. The smart baby still likes to bite even if I try proper latching so many times. He doesn't seem to be patient enough. It can be painful at the beginning of every feeding, but few seconds after, the baby somehow can position his mouth and tongue and breastfeeding is getting much easier even when he still sucks vigorously.

Now I'm worried what's going to happen once I get back to work.