A Catastrophe

.. and I'm sad.

further to my broken Medela pump.

It's been MORE than a week since we sent it to the shop. The last two weekends I did a mistake by using the pump when the hose was not totally dry. So it happened that water was unexpectedly sucked into the motor. If I knew this would happen, I would have never cleaned it in the first place! Because no matter how long you've waited for it to dry, there's still a bit water in it. There's no way you can wipe it out.

It's still under warranty and they have sent it to KL! (This is one of the problems when you don't stay at the capital!). I don't have any idea why it's taking them so long to get it repaired. I suppose, delivering it would only take a day. I wish there's some kind like a temporary replacement pump for me. But there is not. Of course buying a new one is a no no. I never imagined that my "life" seems to be dependable on the object that is called PUMP.

When the previous hard time happened, DH bought me a double electric pump because the Avent single manual I had bought didn't work for me. So when my beloved pump broke down, I'm back to the manual one - and once again, it's single. Normally at work I could produce 9 to 12 oz by the end of the day. It's 5 oz in the morning plus another 4 oz in the afternoon. And sometimes I could even get 6 oz per session (morning and afternoon). On the other hand, the back-up pump I'm currently using WAS great. I can express according to my own pace. The first three days were amazing. I could get a surprisingly satisfying amount. But it decreased the following days. Now by the end of the day, I can only get 6 Oz. At night I only can get around 2 or 3 oz. The total up is not enough for Sheraz's consumption the next day. My problem is it's so hard to experience let down. I know the milk is there but I just can't drain it out. I even do a bit massaging, it helps but the result is nothing compared to the let down reflex.

I can't let Sheraz to starve. So the decision to buy formula came. I have never been so sad to buy something before. I know giving your baby formula milk is not a sin. And neither it will make you such a bad mother. But the feel of not giving something you're actually able to breaks my heart. Sheraz takes 5 bottles during day time. I'm only able to give him 4 bottles. The remaining demand will be covered by formula.

I simply don't have idea about the lacking of the let down reflex. Since this never happened before I'm putting the blame for the decreasing out put on the absence of Medela. Well, everyone reacts differently on pumps. My sister-in-law uses the same single pump and she doesn't have any difficulty using it. As for me, I just hope I will get my Medela back.

But honestly whatever it is, I'm so GRATEFUL to have the Avent as my back up. The result may not be as satisfying as the Medela's, but I still have the chance to express something for the baby.

The first three days of using the manual pump were great. I expressed according to my own pace and the result was a wow. Total was 10.5 oz in a 15 minute session. When we pump one side the other side also leaks. The one in the cup was the retained milk from the other side which I didn't want to waste. It's worth 1.5 oz!


ella said...

i dont know what to say.. cuma, jgn sedey2 ek.. usaha tangga kejayaan! hope u'll get back your medela soon!

donarose said...

i wish. thank you dear.

Intan said...

Dear Dona,
Avent Isis is the best pump to initiate a fast let down reflex. It needs pumping rhythm; pump, pump, pump, and stop... pump, pump, pump, and stop... till u get the let down reflex. Use the Avent milk collector for the other breast when you pump to collect the leaking milk. I do understand how it feels when our double pump broke (I experienced that). It's ok to supplement lil' Sheraz with formula as the amount of your milk taken by him is more than formula. Happy breastfeeding and happy pumping, dear!

donarose said...

Dear kak Intan, you're always there every time I got BF hard time. Thank you~

I didnt know it's actually the best to initiate let down. At first I thought of the same thing, I was about to blog how great this pump is. But after 3 days it turned out differently. I think the biggest mistake I've been doing since then is pump pump pump pump pump and pump without stop. I lost the rythm, I suppose. Secondly, I never knew that Avent milk collector exists. Can use it also during feeding to collect excess milk from the other side, right? cool.

Thank you. you're so inspirable.

Intan said...

Thanks dear.
At first, I didn't know about the pumping technique as well. I read an article by a breastfeeding mom who travelled overseas but managed to collect bottles of her breastmilk by just using the Avent Isis pump. So I learned the technique from there. The Avent milk collector can also be used during feeding. Don't worry. As long as lil' Sheraz is healthy, and your determination is always there. ;-D

donarose said...

yup,insyaAllah thanks again kak Intan!