Bunda misses you

The little bundle of joy is now 16 months old. We had never left him with someone else at night. Not until last night. I'm having another medical leave, I hate these watery red eyes which force me to avoid myself come into contact with the little guy or anyone else indeed. In the evening when they were home, DH asked something like "what should we do next?" That moment I hoped he wasn't thinking the same thing as what I had in my mind. But it really did happen. He was taking Sheraz to his mom's for a night over because both of us wanted to avoid him to get close contact with me. The bad thing is, it may be until I recover. [Heck, at the moment I feel like I am such a disease.]

Guess what, I had more anxiety over the separation than he did. It made me nuts to think that if he wakes up at night my baby will be at someone else's home crying in someone else's arms.

When Sheraz saw me crying he came to me, having this is-there-anything-I-could-do-to-help-you expression and snuggled his face into my thighs. He then looked back at me and said something. Of course I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell. He came to me a few times looking at the bawling bunda, as if he tried to understand my problem.

So this is my sacrifice for I don't want him to suffer from this malady. I have to let him stay away from me, maybe for a couple of nights. I was so gloomy when he waved me goodbye from the car. He was sitting in the carseat as DH drove the car away from me. This morning my MIL gave me a call, she said Sheraz wants to speak to me. The little guy talked, but I was the one who did the talking more because mostly he just smiled and got excited as he always prefers to hear people talking over the phone. The babbling voice made my day. But I want him!

I miss you, Sheraz!